Help Them Understand That It's Okay to Not Be Perfect

Ever feel like the only thing you’re perfect at is being imperfect? Welcome to the club—no secret handshake required. Let’s teach our tiny humans that nobody’s got it all together (and if they do, they’re probably lying or hiding in the pantry with cookies). If your kid thinks mistakes are the end of the world, or if you’re tired of pretending you’ve never put a diaper on backwards, this one’s for you.

When kids (and parents) accept mistakes, their brains get a break from perfection panic. Self-acceptance helps build resilience, lowers anxiety, and boosts creativity because nobody’s afraid to try new things. It’s like giving the brain a cozy blanket and saying, 'You’re good enough, just as you are.'

How to do it

  • Narrate your own goofs out loud. For example, say, "Oops, daddy put the milk in the pantry again!" This shows your child that everyone makes mistakes and it's okay to talk about them.

  • Celebrate effort, not just results. When your child works hard on something, acknowledge their perseverance by saying things like, "Wow, you really tried hard on that drawing!" This helps them value the process over perfection.

  • Model self-kindness. When you mess up, say something nice about yourself out loud. For instance, "I made a mistake, but that's okay—I'm still learning, too." This teaches your child to be gentle with themselves.

  • Remind your child (and yourself) that learning is messy, and that’s the best part. Emphasize that mistakes are a natural and important part of growing.

  • Make laughing at little mistakes a family sport. Turn small goofs into opportunities for fun—bonus points for silly dances or playful reactions. This helps everyone feel more comfortable with imperfection.

Key Tips:

  • Be open about your own mistakes to normalize them.
  • Focus on effort and improvement, not just final outcomes.
  • Practice self-compassion out loud so your child learns by example.
  • Embrace the messiness of learning together.
  • Use humor to defuse embarrassment and build resilience.

When you or your child makes a mistake (spills, forgets, or goofs up).

Say the goofy phrase or do the mistake dance for 3 seconds.
High-five your child or yourself, or just giggle together.
Pick a silly family 'mistake dance' or goofy phrase to use when someone messes up.

When you open the fridge during the day.

Say out loud, 'It’s okay to not be perfect.'
Smile and take a deep breath, imagining a gold star on your forehead.
Stick a 'Nobody’s Perfect' reminder magnet or sticky note on the fridge.

At dinner or bedtime, when sharing about your day.

Share one silly mistake from your day and put a note in the jar.
Read a past mistake from the jar and laugh together.
Create a 'funny mistake' jar for the family.