Help Them Develop Coping Strategies for Stress

Ever tried to teach your kid to chill out, only to find yourself stress-eating Goldfish crackers in the pantry? Welcome to the magical world of kid-sized meltdowns and the desperate search for coping strategies. If you’ve ever wished you could just install a 'Calm Down' button, this is as close as it gets—minus the tech support.

Helping kids practice coping skills literally rewires their brains—think more calm circuits, fewer panic sirens. It boosts emotional regulation, builds resilience, and teaches them that feelings aren’t scary monsters. Bonus: when you model these skills, your own stress hormones chill out, too.

How to do it

  • Model the skill first. Show your child how to use a calming strategy by taking a dramatic deep breath or saying, "I need a minute." Demonstrating the behavior helps them understand what to do.

  • Keep it simple. Teach one strategy at a time, such as deep breaths, counting to ten, or saying what’s wrong. Focusing on a single approach makes it easier for your child to remember and use the skill.

  • Practice when everyone is calm. Work on these strategies during peaceful moments, not just in the middle of a tantrum. This helps your child learn without the pressure of big emotions.

  • Notice and name feelings together. For example, say, "Looks like you’re frustrated—let’s try our breathing trick!" Naming emotions helps your child recognize what they’re feeling and connect it to a coping strategy.

  • Celebrate any attempt. Acknowledge every bit of effort, even if it’s just a small step or a whisper of progress. Positive reinforcement encourages your child to keep trying.

Key Tips:

  • Be patient—learning new skills takes time.
  • Use encouraging language and stay positive.
  • Practice regularly to build confidence and familiarity.
  • Adjust strategies to fit your child’s needs and preferences.

When you see your child start to frown, whine, or clench their fists.

Take one exaggerated deep breath together, making a silly sound.
High-five and say, 'We’re basically breathing ninjas!'
Print or draw a silly 'calm down' card with a cartoon character taking deep breaths and keep it on the fridge.

When your child’s voice goes up an octave (the pre-meltdown squeak).

Invite your child to sit in the break spot for just one minute together.
Do a quick happy dance or wiggle in the break spot.
Create a 'break spot' in the house with a comfy pillow and favorite stuffed animal.

After a stressful moment, like a sibling squabble or homework struggle.

Say the code word and ask, 'Want to talk or just sit together?'
Make a silly face or share a secret handshake.
Teach your child a code word for 'let’s talk' (like 'banana' or 'superhero').