Be a 'Generative Father'

Ever wondered if you’re supposed to be raising a mini-CEO, a Nobel laureate, or just a decent human who remembers to flush? Welcome to the generative dad club, where we’re all low-key terrified we’re one wrong lunchbox note away from ruining the next generation. If you’ve ever caught yourself stockpiling college fund brochures while also teaching your kid how to tie their shoes, this one’s for you.

Kids who feel invested in by their dads develop stronger prefrontal cortex skills—think planning, emotional regulation, and not losing it over the wrong color cup. For dads, generativity boosts life satisfaction and can even fight off that midlife 'is this all there is?' existential dread. It’s a neural win-win: you help your kid grow up confident and connected, and your own brain gets a happy hit of purpose.

How to do it

Pick one small thing you want to pass on, such as kindness, curiosity, or how not to panic in traffic.
Find a way to share it. Show, don’t just tell—kids are like emotional Wi-Fi; they pick up your signals, not your lectures.
Make it a ritual. For example, you might have Saturday pancake science or bedtime gratitude.
When you mess up (because, of course, you will), talk about it out loud. Modeling growth is the ultimate generative flex.

Tips:

Choose just one value or skill to focus on at a time.
Use everyday moments to demonstrate what you want to teach.
Consistency helps turn actions into habits.
Admitting mistakes and showing how you learn from them is powerful.

When you notice your kid asking a random question (which is basically every five minutes).

Pause, kneel down, and say, 'That’s a great question—what do you think?'

Give yourself a silent dad-fist-pump or text your partner, 'Just did a generative thing!'

Put a sticky note with 'future you' doodled on it somewhere you’ll see every day (bathroom mirror, coffee machine, Xbox controller).

After dinner, when everyone’s still at the table (or at least within shouting distance).

Write down one hope or wish you have for your child’s future and drop it in the jar.

Read one old card from the jar and smile at how much you’ve both grown (or just high-five the dog).

Create a 'future jar'—an empty jar with a stack of index cards and pens nearby.

When the alarm goes off (bonus if it’s during a lull, not tantrum time).

Share a quick story from your own childhood—especially a mistake and what you learned.

Reward yourself with a secret snack or a deep breath of 'I did a thing.'

Set a recurring alarm on your phone labeled 'Generative Dad Moment.'