Celebrate Physical Accomplishments and Efforts, Not Just Winning in Sports

Look, unless your last name is Brady or Williams, your kid probably isn’t winning a championship at age 6. But hey, did they run without tripping? Did they actually remember which goal to aim for? That’s the stuff of legends. If you’re tired of empty ‘participation trophies’ but still want to cheer like a caffeinated mascot, this one’s for you—let’s high-five the hustle, not just the highlight reel.

Kids who feel recognized for their effort (not just the outcome) develop a growth mindset—translation: they’ll try new things, bounce back from flops, and won’t melt down the first time they don’t win. Parents get a hit of pride and joy from seeing their kid’s confidence grow, and brains on both sides get a little dopamine boost from all that positive feedback.

How to do it

  • Watch for the small wins—like tying shoes or actually running in the right direction. Noticing these moments helps build your child's confidence and motivation.

  • Use specific praise. For example, say “I saw how hard you tried to dribble!” instead of just “Good job!” This helps your child understand exactly what they did well.

  • Avoid comparing your child to others, even if that other kid is a tiny ninja. Every child develops at their own pace, and comparisons can be discouraging.

  • Make it a habit to point out effort at home, too. Try saying things like “Wow, you kept going even when it was tough!” to reinforce the value of persistence.

  • Celebrate with a high-five, silly dance, or your best awkward parent cheer. These fun gestures make achievements feel special and memorable.

Tips:

  • Focus on effort and progress, not just outcomes.
  • Be genuine and enthusiastic with your praise.
  • Create a supportive environment where your child feels safe to try and fail.

Right after your child finishes a sports activity, practice, or game.

Say one specific thing you noticed your child tried hard at.
Give your child a big goofy grin or a high-five (bonus points for jazz hands).
Make a list of three effort-based compliments you can use (like ‘I love how hard you tried!’).

When you’re packing up gear or snacks after the game.

Tell your child, 'I saw you really went for it out there!'
Do a quick parent victory dance (even if it embarrasses your kid—especially if it embarrasses your kid).
Put a sticky note on your phone or water bottle with a reminder: 'Spot the effort!'

When your child walks off the field/court/track.

Ask, 'What was the hardest thing you did today?' and listen for their answer.
Do your special handshake together, complete with sound effects.
Teach your child a fun 'effort handshake' you do together after activities.