Praise Prosocial Behaviors

Ever feel like your kid’s sharing skills are on par with a hungry raccoon guarding a trash can? Same. But every once in a while, they hand over a toy without a meltdown, and you want to throw a parade. This is your permission slip to go full cheerleader—pom-poms optional—when your tiny human does something remotely kind. Because let’s be honest: we could all use a little more positive reinforcement (and maybe a nap).

When kids get praised for kindness, their brains light up with happy chemicals (think: mini firework show in the frontal cortex). It builds self-esteem, makes them want to repeat the good stuff, and teaches them that being helpful is actually pretty great. For parents, it’s a tiny glimmer of hope that you’re not just narrating an endless loop of ‘no, don’t eat that!’

How to do it

  1. Watch closely and catch your child in the act of doing something kind or helpful.

  2. The moment they do something positive, call it out right away. For example:

    • “Wow, you gave your sister the blue crayon!”

  3. Be specific about what they did well so they know exactly what behavior you’re praising.

  4. Keep your praise light, genuine, and natural. Avoid going over-the-top—save the big celebrations for major milestones.

  5. Add a fun touch, like a goofy dance or a silly high five, to make the moment memorable.

  6. Repeat this process regularly until it becomes second nature for both you and your child.

Tips:

  • Immediate feedback helps kids connect their actions with your praise.
  • Specific praise teaches them what behaviors to repeat.
  • Consistency is key—make it a habit for lasting results.

When you see your child playing with another kid or sibling.

Say one specific thing you liked about their kind action.
Smile, do a mini fist pump, or whisper 'parenting win!' to yourself.
Make a sticky note for yourself that says 'Catch Kindness!' and stick it where you’ll see it during playtime.

After any group activity (like meals or playdates).

Write down one thing your child did that was helpful or kind and drop it in the jar.
Read the note out loud in a dramatic announcer voice.
Create a 'kindness jar'—an old jar and some paper slips—ready for quick notes.

When you notice your child sharing or helping.

Do the handshake or say the secret word together.
Share a goofy smile or quick hug.
Teach your child a secret handshake or word for when they do something nice.
Praise Prosocial Behaviors | Dad Pilot