Help Them Understand and Navigate Social Media Pressures (Older Children/Teens)

If your kid’s self-esteem seems to rise and fall with every Instagram like, or you’re wondering if TikTok trends are a new form of peer pressure Olympics, this is your jam. We’re talking about the wild west of social media—the land where validation comes in heart-shaped doses and FOMO is basically the air they breathe. Let’s arm our kids with more than just a witty comment and a filter—let’s give them actual confidence, no WiFi required.

Helping your kid see beyond the dopamine rush of likes and shares actually rewires their brain for real, long-term self-esteem. It builds resilience, reduces anxiety, and teaches them to value their own opinions over the crowd’s. Plus, it makes them less likely to fall for internet nonsense (looking at you, viral cinnamon challenges). For you, it’s a chance to bond and show them you’re not just tech support—you’re their emotional backup.

How to do it

  • Start by sharing your own social media fails—even the time you accidentally posted to your story instead of sending a DM. This helps break the ice and shows that everyone makes mistakes online.

  • Ask open-ended questions about what they see online and how it makes them feel. Give them space to share their thoughts without judgment.

  • Teach them how to spot clickbait and encourage them to compare their real life to their online life. Remind them that everyone’s highlight reel is just that—a reel, not the whole movie.

  • Encourage taking breaks from screens, spending time with friends in real life, and exploring hobbies that don’t involve hashtags or social media.

  • Most importantly, keep the conversation going. It doesn’t have to be formal—even chatting over pizza counts. Make sure they know you’re always there to talk, no matter what.

When you see your child scrolling their phone after school.

Ask, 'See anything interesting or weird online today?'
Give yourself a mental high-five for opening the door to conversation, even if you just get a grunt in response.
Follow a couple of your child’s favorite social platforms (incognito, if necessary) so you know what’s trending.

When the weekly family ‘no phones’ hour starts.

Share one funny or ridiculous thing you saw online this week.
Laugh together (or at least crack a smile), and enjoy the rare moment when everyone’s eyes aren’t glued to a screen.
Set up a weekly family ‘no phones’ hour (board games, snacks, or just awkward silence—your call).

When your child brings up something they saw online.

Pick one question from the list and ask it casually.
Pat yourself on the back for being sneaky-smart, and maybe reward yourself with a secret piece of chocolate.
Create a list of ‘critical thinking questions’ (like, ‘who benefits from this post?’ or ‘what’s missing from this picture?’) and stick it on the fridge.