Help Them Develop a 'Hope' Mindset

You know those days when your kid’s LEGO tower collapses for the 17th time and you’re suddenly a motivational speaker, life coach, and amateur architect? This is for the moments when you wish you could just order hope on Amazon Prime. If your family’s motto is currently ‘Well, that didn’t work,’ it might be time to sprinkle in some possibility thinking—because sometimes the only way out of meltdown city is a detour through Hope-ville.

Teaching hope actually rewires the brain—kids (and adults!) who learn to see possibilities instead of dead ends build stronger neural pathways for problem-solving and resilience. It boosts confidence, reduces anxiety, and helps everyone bounce back faster from setbacks. Bonus: Hopeful kids are more likely to try new things and less likely to give up at the first sign of trouble (or spilled milk).

How to do it

When your child encounters a challenge, follow these steps:

  1. Pause and take a few deep breaths before responding.
  2. Gently ask your child questions like, “What’s another way we could try this?” or “What might help us get closer to our goal?”
  3. Brainstorm possible solutions together. Encourage all ideas—even the silly ones. Sometimes, a playful suggestion like “let’s wear our socks on our hands” can spark creativity.
  4. Celebrate small successes. Acknowledge efforts such as trying again or thinking of a new approach, not just achieving the final goal.
  5. Model hopeful language. Say things like, “That didn’t work, but I know we’ll find a way!” even if you’re feeling frustrated inside.

Tips:

  • Stay patient and keep your tone encouraging.
  • Let your child lead the brainstorming when possible.
  • Remember, progress is about effort and creative thinking, not just results.
  • Your attitude sets the tone—showing hope helps your child build resilience.

When your child gets frustrated with a toy, homework, or sibling.

Pull a slip from the jar and read it together, then ask, ‘Should we try this or think of our own idea?’
Do a goofy victory dance (bonus points for jazz hands) or high-five, no matter how small the attempt.
Make a silly ‘possibility jar’ with slips of paper listing wild and realistic ways to solve everyday kid problems.

When your child says ‘I can’t’ or ‘It’s too hard.’

Point to the roadmap and say, ‘Let’s pick a new path together!’
Give your best superhero pose and say, ‘We’re hope explorers!’
Print or draw a simple ‘Hope Roadmap’ with arrows pointing in different directions and tape it to the fridge.

The moment something doesn’t go as planned (spilled juice, failed block tower, etc).

Say ‘Plot Twist!’ out loud and suggest one new way to tackle the problem.
Make a dramatic movie sound effect (whoosh! dun dun dun!) together.
Teach your child a code word like ‘Plot Twist!’ to signal trying a new approach.