Acknowledge and Apologize if You Make a Mistake in Parenting

Ever snapped at your kid because your coffee went cold for the third time and you stepped on a Lego? Yeah, me too. Here’s the thing: apologizing to your tiny human isn’t just for saints—it’s for the rest of us who occasionally lose our cool, forget the snack, or say 'no' to something we actually meant to say 'yes' to. Spoiler: saying sorry doesn’t make you less of a parent, but it might just make you a parenting ninja.

When you admit a mistake and apologize, you’re wiring your kid’s brain for empathy, resilience, and trust. It teaches them that grown-ups aren’t perfect, and that relationships can be repaired, not just broken. For you, it lowers stress, guilt, and helps your own brain switch from 'danger, shame!' mode to 'hey, we can fix this.' Everybody’s prefrontal cortex wins.

How to do it

First, breathe—don’t skip this step.

Next, get down to their level. Making eye contact is magic.

Say what you did and take responsibility. Use actual words like “I’m sorry.”

Skip the big lecture or saying things like “but you made me.”

Bonus points if you ask how they feel.

Extra bonus points if you hug it out or do a silly handshake at the end.

Key Tips:

Take a moment to calm yourself before responding.
Physically lower yourself to the child’s level to connect.
Use clear, simple language and apologize sincerely.
Avoid blaming or justifying your actions.
Encourage them to share their feelings.
End with a positive gesture, like a hug or handshake, to reinforce connection.

When you notice your child looks upset after something you said or did.

Say your chosen apology phrase out loud, even if it feels awkward.

Give yourself a silent high-five or mentally say, 'Hey, that was real parenting.'

Pick a simple phrase you’ll use for apologies, like 'Oops, that was my mistake.'

Right after you realize you’ve overreacted or made a parenting blunder.

Take a deep breath and say, 'I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair.'

Smile at your reflection or do a tiny fist pump (bonus if your kid sees it and joins in).

Put a sticky note on the fridge or mirror that says 'Model the Repair.'

After any tense or awkward parenting moment.

Invite your child to do the gesture together as a sign of repair.

Feel the tension melt a little and let yourself laugh, even if it’s just a tiny snort.

Teach your child a silly 'all fixed' gesture (like a pinky promise or secret handshake).